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Lyrics to 2 new Weird Al songs- Gump (Lump) and Ami
"Gump" by Weird Al Yankovic
A parody of "Lump" by The Presidents Of The Unites States Of America.
Gump sat alone on a bench in the park
"My name is Forrest," he's casually remark
Waitin' for the bus with his hands in his pockets
He just kept sayin' life is like a box of chocolates
He's Gump, He's Gump
What's in his head?
He's Gump. He's Gump. He's Gump.
Is he in-bred?
Gump was a big celebrity
He told JFK that he really had to pee
He never feels to dumb because
His mother always told him stupidis as stupid does
He's Gump. He's Gump.
He's kinda square
He's Gump. He's Gump. He's Gump.
What's with that hair?
Run...run...run, run, now Forrest
Run...run...run like the wind now
Run...run...run, run now Forrest
Run...STOP!
His buddy Bubba was a shrinp-lovin' man
His friend with no legs he called Liutenant Dan
His girlfriend Jenny was kind of a slut
He went to the White House, showed LBJ his butt
He's Gump. He's Gump.
He's not too bright
He's Gump. He's Gump. He's Gump.
But he's alright
Is this Gump out of his head?
I think so.
Is this Gump really brain-dead?
I think so.
Did this Gump make lots of bread?
I think so.
And that's all I have to say about that.
*AMISH PARADISE* By Weird Al Yankovic
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milking cows
Jebadiah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
`Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a `tude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black... fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Caruso
It's as primitive as can be
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on monday, soon I'll raise another
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well I know that I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Amish paradise
---
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