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The Salvia Divinorum Experience

by Paulo Gomes


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This article is about my experience last night with salvia divinorum (10X extract). Though I may sound completely fucked in the head (which I'm sure I have already countless times) this is something you'd really have to try for yourself to believe...

The first time I succesfully smoked it, I loaded up a decent-sized bowl and took a few hits. When you smoke salvia, it feels like smoking weed, except the smoke is a bit more harsh. To succesfully have a "salvia experience" or trip or whatever you wanna call it, you need to smoke a deep, slow hit and hold it for about 30 seconds.

Without even noticing when it began, I was the voice in my head that tells me to get up, go eat, go shower... the subconscious, the voice that tells us to do things. I actually WAS this voice, telling my body to do things. I guess this is what most salvia smokers call "ego death". It felt like I had a whole new personality, new way of thinking and new set of thoughts. I was telling my body to get up and go inside of my house, while for some reason there were other people or entities, thoughts, whatever, telling me not to. So I was arguing with thoughts in my head, while sitting there with a blank stare. The way the porch and my house looked, it felt like someone was holding me down, and they were saying "no, stay out here, sit down" and I was struggling to make myself get up. (see how fucked it sounds already?) Then finally I said aloud "LET....HIM....GO" or something to that extent. It was only when I spoke aloud (to thin air) that I remembered who I was. I wasn't my subconscious, I was back to being me, myself. So of course, I did the only thing that seemed logical... packed another bowl and smoked that shit!

When I finally got up and walked to my house, walking became such a difficult task, but I managed. I finally got to my room and just laid on my bed, constantly having the thoughts of characters in my brain. Physically I was just laying there, staring blankly, but in my head a lot more was going on. I finally just went to sleep after the trip wore out. I woke up to a phone call later that night... I think it was around 8 pm. It was my friend calling to hang out. I started babbling about how great salvia was. We got a ride over to my other friend's house, loaded up the bong with some sweet, sweet mary jane, and settled in, started playing videogames and shit.

I told them about salvia a few times before, but I had it with me now. After smoking for a while, we loaded up the bong with some more weed and this time I threw a bunch of salvia on top. A bit too much probably, and you'll see why soon. I took the first hit and held it as long as I could. After a while they started playing lord of the rings for x box... I told them I was way too fucked to play and just sat there, unable to really move or speak clearly. It felt like a weight was holding me down.

The effects crept up on me just like before, I didn't notice them while they were happening. They were already happening, but when I actually REALIZED what was happening, that's where it got fucked up. I'm going to explain it to the best of my ability, even though I already know there are no words to describe it except for "feeling infinity".

Every sound and movement would feel intensified more than before, but instead of percieving sounds as just a sound, I heard and felt it as a series of moments of sounds looped together. It was kind of like seeing a movie without knowing how movies work, and then noticing that it's just a bunch of frames and scenes, bits of sound, seconds, linked together. Except, this wasn't a movie, this was my life I was feeling. I felt every single moment in time, moment after moment... I felt like it was just going on for infinity and had been already. Infinite moments, one after the other, but it felt like they were going in a weird direction and that's what caused me to notice it... like in a spiral instead of in a straight line. Everything in the room looked normal if I would talk to my friends and act on something, but if I just sat there and zoned out, life was totally different. There were no visual hallucinations, but in my head, It felt like I was visualizing my sight of the tv screen, over and over, moment after moment, like a flipbook repeated, one after the other in my head. Then it hit me, this was infinity, it was more than just looking at a mirror reflecting a mirror, which is the best way one could explain infinity to anyone... this was actually FEELING infinity. I had to tell my friends about it, I couldn't hold this anymore, it was too amazing. I started explaining it, and I noticed it felt like my voice was going really slow, because I couldn't stop being aware of myself, being aware of myself, being aware of myself.... talking.. it spiraled out, forever. I would say "it's like...." then trail off into the loop, and then when I collected my thoughts again I'd start over... "it's like...". I don't remember what I even said to them, but I'm sure I blurted out "it's infinity!" at least once. Of course they're sitting there having no fucking clue what I'm feeling and I'm sure it must have looked funny as hell to see me try to form one sentence.

From reading some salvia reports, I knew that sometimes people would forget most of their trip and just remember bits and pieces. I didn't want to let this go, so I stumbled into my friend's kitchen and wrote down this... exactly as it's typed here:

Theres santhis feeling that
Ia feel everything
I can fees sounds repeatd
over and over
Imsounds and
movement

I was sitting there for a long time writing that. A very long time actually. In between words and sentences I'd lose track of who I was and I'd go back to feeling infinity again. It felt like life was a computer, perfect, my mind would just extend on and on and on. When I would think of explaining it to my friends, I would think "why explain it when..." and I'd just see myself thinking that, thinking that, it would loop over and over. (You see how hard this is to put into words?). It sounds so ridiculous but the feeling was so amazing. I also noticed everytime I spoke how I sounded like one of my parents... I mean, everyone is a reflection of their parents, but it was very very noticable while on salvia. I can safely say I didn't even feel human anymore. I would sit back, feel this insane self awareness repeat forever, and if I spoke it felt like I was just adding to this big computer, making a small change, participating. It felt better to just watch life instead of be involved, and it was beauty. It felt like pure existence, infinity, the farthest we can imagine, the farthest anything can go. It felt like "wow, this is the farthest reality can go, and it makes sense..." scary at first, but infinity is a very realistic concept when on salvia.

It didn't feel like I had a consciousness anymore, just infinite moments... over and over... and over. It felt like I was just a math equation of infinity. It was kind of scary for me, but everytime I became afraid, I knew that this is how it had to be, that this was how everything was working at the moment, and that it made perfect sense. The only thing I kept struggling to think of was how to put it into words, and how it would be over in 20 minutes (salvia trips are short when it is smoked). I couldn't believe how fucked up it was, this really did change me forever.

That was basically it, the trip wore down and I became less and less aware of infinity, and life went back to normal...but it was so much more. The most important point I want to make in this writing is that this was NOT placebo, and that it CANNOT be explained by words, it must be experienced firsthand. This was not something I expected, in fact I was expecting to have hallucinations, which I did not.

I didn't talk much to my friend's that night because of the trip, and I haven't talked to them since, but I know they didn't feel much. They had problems holding the smoke a couple of times (it feels like it WANTS to leave your body when you hold it... it feels like it's fighting to get out, more than with weed smoke) and a couple of times they let it out too soon. I also don't think they knew it's not some kind of recreational drug that you use and then have fun with your friends... it's something where you sit back, and watch the madness occur. Every time I talked and acted, I noticed the effects less. This is probably why the Mazatec Indians used it as an aid in meditation, because just by silencing your mind, you can have a great trip. So if you ever do it, be sure to sit back and relax. And smoke until you feel the effects, because I hate to see people walk away from salvia telling me "It just felt like weed but I was a little higher". That's not what this drug is. The great thing about salvia, is that it is legal and very unlikely to be abused. This drug doesn't enhance social interaction, it makes you believe you're going to other dimensions (read some experiences on erowid.org). It lets you feel the thoughts in your head, more realistically than you can even imagine. It's unlike anything else.

This has opened my mind so much, I think drugs are great for exploring our brain and bodies, and they should be studied more if we ever want to learn anything more about life. The effects they have are amazing, we need to learn how to harness those effects better and enhance them, even.None of the anti-drug ads or arguments matter when you're high or tripping out. All the arguments and opinions and shit go up in smoke, and you just exist, you just feel... If you saw what I saw, you would feel how petty and stupid every illusion in this world is... the shit we get mad about, it's so ridiculous. Emotions just take over everything. Once emotions and logic fade away, infinity awaits. I really wish everyone in the world could have felt what I felt last night.,.. at least just once.

Disclaimer: Everything on this site and in this writing are for informational purposes only. I do not condone the use of marijuana or salvia divinorum for human consumption. Every drug experience here was for educational purposes only. Everything in this writing is a fictional story.

Blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda, all that other shit I gotta say so I can't get arrested. I'm done.

Go buy some salvia. I thought the salvia experiences on erowid came from fucked up people who made the whole thing up... and now I'm submitting this to erowid, now I'm one of them. They're not making it up, it's very real, and very different from anything out there.

This url contains more information about salvia: http://www.erowid.org/plants/salvia/salvia.shtml

http://www.lukewarmdog.com/paulo

My website, where I first put this article on, and many more that I have submitted to totse

classicalhisux at hotmail.com

 
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