Blazing Etiqutte

by Steve English

Introduction

This is a complete guide of all the rules and guidelines which me and my boys follow when blazing. We quickly became aware of these rules and though we have perhaps never formally agreed upon all of those noted here, they are known and adhered to by all of us. It is inevitable that you will be blazing with someone new at some point in time, and they may not be aware of the courtesy that should naturally follow when toking. As such this guide is intended to be printed off with my aim being that one day it will be a poster on the wall of every toker out there! Though some may disagree with some rules, sticking to them prevents arguments and the possibility of spoiling a high, which any blazer knows is a cunt. Happy blazing.

Rules

1. The joint is always passed clockwise around the group, or more simply, to the left.
2. No matter who purchased the gear, the roller of the joint lights it up and has the first smoke, it is then passed left around the circle. This is known as "Rollers Privilege"
3. Unless previously agreed upon, each person should not be taking more than 2 - 3 tokes of the joint at a time.
4. While `toploading' is not against the rules, it is frowned upon and it should be made clear to the other smokers that you are doing it and for what reason.
5. If it is your house do not be stingy. If someone asks for a drink or something to eat be sure to get them whatever you can. Dry-mouth and the munchies can be annoying.
6. In partnership with rule 5, if it is not your house do not take liberties with someone else's food and drink. It is ok to ask, but if they do not have something don't be annoyed, after all, they have to pay for it.
7. If it is someone's first time blazing, do not laugh or make fun of them if they cough, get high easily or feel ill. Just remember your first time and how you would have felt.
8. If someone does get ill or throw up, don't just sit there or laugh at them (although it can be funny). Ask if they want to go home or need a drink. It's still ok to blaze but don't pressure them into continuing.
9. Don't take liberties if you're not paying for the gear. It's ok to smoke if they say so, but you might want to contribute some money if you're in for the long-haul.
10. Wasting smoke is inexcusable. Whilst this can be done without thinking sometimes, it is best not to go into long stories while you are not smoking, but still holding the joint. This will only annoy the others waiting for their turn.
11. When hot-boxing a car be careful not to burn the seats or carpeting. This will only get you kicked out, and rightly so.
12. When in a house or someone's garden, be sure to ask before lighting up a joint, even if you know it is ok. It is only polite to ask as it is not your house. Similarly the owner of the house may have different or varying rules.
13. If you cause a mess, spill anything, burn anything or break something, it is your responsibility. Cleaning up will take no time at all and will be funny for everyone else.
14. Don't make fun of a style of smoking. You never know, you might learn a thing or two.

Guide to Blazing

Basic tips and helpful facts

• When blazing, don't take more than you can handle. Gradually smoking more will get you to a better high, whereas smoking a lot in a short time will make you feel sick and will not give you a good high.
• It is impossible to overdose on marijuana.
• When blazing, be careful of hot rocks and burning stems falling from the end onto your clothes. It's a dead giveaway if you go home and have holes all over your trousers.
• The smell of marijuana is highly potent. Changing your clothes is the best method, however if this is not possible carry a can of deodorant, and alternatively coat yourself in aftershave. If anyone notices anything they'll just think you wear more spray than the average Italian.
• Keep your stash in a safe place in a suitable container. Tins can bought at almost any market-stall, and they have ones with funny and interesting designs on them. These tins are large enough to put your gear, papers and a lighter in so that all your needed items will be available straight away. The only drawback of these tins is that if someone sees it, there is no doubt of what is inside. Alternative are small sandwich boxes or other plastic, air-tight tubs.
• Keep and eye out. Its no secret that smoking green can make you paranoid. We've all been there. You're at a party and having a great time, once you're high it feels like every pair of eyes is watching you. This can help you however. If you are in public use your paranoia to keep an eye out for any unwanted strangers and especially police. Lets not forget that while two in three people have at least tried marijuana in the UK and one in eight are regular users, it is still illegal. If you see the police RUN. Whoever has the stash has the responsibility to dump it and don't split up and go your separate ways, split into pairs. This is a basic military tactic used to confuse, misdirect and weaken enemy search parties. Lets face it, at this point you'll need stupid facts like these. If you are caught you're screwed, end of.
• If you're caught with your stash, take the fall. Don't say it was someone else's. Be a big man and take the blame, your friends will respect you for standing it alone, and won't be happy for taking them down with you.
• Try not to take your stash around with you, while you may regret it when you want a joint later, if you're searched or caught with it there is no way of talking your way out of it.
• If you have to take your gear out with you don't put it in your pocket! It can fall out easily and if you're searched there is no way they will not find it. The best place it to hide your stash in your groin. While this might not be the nicest place, it is the one place bouncers and police alike are not allowed to search. I have heard of many methods by which to do this, the most common of which attaching the bag with a piece of masking tape just above your genitals. Even if the copper that taps you down is a bit over-keen there's a chance they won't be able to tell the difference.
• When you're settling in for the long-haul for a massive blaze-up, make sure you have got everything on the table you need. Once you've started you won't want to keep getting up for drinks, food and the like.
• Don't let someone skin up the jay if they have never done so before. I learnt this very quickly. While it is nice for someone to learn how to roll, pick the right time to teach them. Most of the time they will have no idea what the hell they are doing, resulting in green getting dropped on the floor, and usually a roll which is un-smokable anyway. Get them to watch a few times and then help them do it at an appropriate time
• Friends you can trust. Blazing is great fun, but it is even better when you do it with people you know well and are completely comfortable with. They won't tell people who don't need to know and you will experience a much better high when you know the people you are with.
• If you are smoking solid and you have a small piece left which is hard to burn off, coat it in some tin foil, twist the end so that you can hold it ok and burn through the metal. The heat will still go through and you won't burn your fingers.
• If you have some spare time grind up your green. This will make it last longer and it will burn better and more evenly. Grinders can be bought for this purpose, however it doesn't take long using you're fingers and scissors for tougher pieces.
• Stems and seeds do not get you high. While many think that cutting up the stems and adding them or grinding up the seeds will add to your experience this is not the case. Marijuana contains a narcotic which is only present in the non-pollinated buds, therefore seeds do not contain this. Stems are a part of the plant itself found in almost every bag as it would be a huge task to remove them. The buds only themselves contain THC chemicals which produce the desired effects, stems do not.
• Know your dealer. A dealer can be your friend to some extent. Find a reasonable one which sells for a good price with good quantities and get to know him. Don't socialise with him or anything, but be friendly. After a while they will cut you deals and give you the better end of the bargain.
• Once your joint is rolled, twist off the end so that you can grip it and shake it. This action will help to make the contents pack downwards, making it a tighter roll.

Fun things to do when you're high

• Beat-boxing - You'll find you can beat-box or MC like a pro when you're high. Have rap battles, MC to the tempo of your choice, diss each other and chat random lyrics, this will entertain you for hours.
• Watch a film - Whether it's a comedy or not it will be a hundred times better when you are lean. Some of my personal favourites to watch are Scary Movie 3, any episode of Family Guy, Jet Li's The One and any of The Matrix trilogy.
• Look at the Stars - This may seem stupid, but seriously try it. You will have some of the most intellectual, terrifying and soul-searching conversations when you observe those things you've never really stopped to look at.
• Go for a Walk - A breath of fresh air never hurts and the funniest things can happen in public. Besides it gets the blood pumping and therefore makes you fell more high...if nothing else.
• Play computer games - Play a multi-player game with your mates. You'll feel as if your life depends on you winning.
• Listen to some music - This is kind of an obvious one. If you put something on that really hits you, it feels amazing. Many people recommend Bob Marley, personally I hate Bob Marley. I think that some of the songs from Dr Dre - 2001 are much better to listen to. The hip-hop beat will make you chill out like you never have before.
• Go out - Depending on the kind of high you're feeling. If you are feeling energetic and ready to do something, I think it's great to go to a club, you can dance without caring what other people think, and you will look like you're a professional, and you won't even need to pay for a drink.
• Do something you've been putting off - I find that I always put things off until the last minute that I don't want to do. If you're lean and on your own, or everyone has gone home or is asleep, get off your ass and do it. It will seem like it took no time and the chances are you might even enjoy it. Write that essay you've got to do, clean your room, call that girl you met the other night, beat the shit out of the guy who was giving you a look at that party. Whatever it is, just do it.
• Roll a joint - One of the funniest things you can do when you are out of your face is roll another one. With your motor-skills impaired it can be a hard task, which will be funny in itself.

Glossary

• Dry-mouth - When the inside of your mouth has no moisture after smoking marijuana, also sometimes called cotton-mouth
• Gear - The stash of marijuana you are using. Also called cannabis, blaze, green, Greenwich, skunk, weed, pot...
• High - The effects felt after smoking marijuana. Also known as being stoned, mashed, lean...
• Joint - Tobacco rolled with marijuana. Also known as a spliff, zut, jay.
• Kingers - King Sized rizla
• Marijuana - "Marijuana" refers to the dried leaves and flowers of the cannabis plant, which contain the non-narcotic chemical THC at various potencies. It is smoked or eaten to produce the feeling of being "high." The different strains of this herb produce different sensual effects, ranging from sedative to stimulant
• Munchies - A slang term for food eaten when stoned. Usually crisps, chocolate and sweets.
• The Munchies - The feeling that you want something to eat when stoned.
• Rizla - Brand of rolling papers commonly used in the UK for rolling joints.
• Roach - Piece of card rolled into a spiral shape to be used a filter of sorts, placed in the smoking end of a joint.
• Skinning up - The act of rolling a joint.
• Solid - A form of marijuana combined with resin. Usually of poorer quality than green. Often called puff, hash, block, solid.
• Toke - A puff or singular drag of the joint itself.
• Toploading - Packing the end of the joint with more marijuana than usual.

Acknowledgments

• First and foremost my boys Tim and Alec, peace and love.
• Brett for making me learn how to skin.
• Anyone who's sorted me at parties and shit. Much appreciated.
• Tim for spacing out hard with me in Amsterdam.
• All my boys back home who I've been through good and bad times with.
• Everyone I have ever blazed the good stuff with

!!!Legalise it in the UK!!!

Written by -Shifty-