|
Proposed alcohol warnings for bottles of booze
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
THE BOARD OF HEALTH HAS
PROPOSED THAT WARNING SIGNS BE
PLACED ON BOOZE BOTTLES TO TIP OFF
DRINKERS ABOUT THE POSSIBLE PERIL OF
HAVING A FEW...
1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
you to wake up with breath that could knock a
buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.
2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major
factor in dancing like an asshole.
3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
you to tell the same boring story over and over
again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR
HEAD IN.
4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
you to tell the boss what you REALLY think while
photocopying your butt at the office Christmas
party.
6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you
to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to
telephone them at 4 in the morning.
7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave
you wondering what the hell ever happened to your
pants anyway.
8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
you to roll over in the morning and see something
really scary (whose species and or name you can't
remember)
9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the
leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the
forehead.
10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create
the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and
smarter than some really, really big guy named
Psycho.
|
|