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Proposed alcohol warnings for bottles of booze


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THE BOARD OF HEALTH HAS
PROPOSED THAT WARNING SIGNS BE
PLACED ON BOOZE BOTTLES TO TIP OFF
DRINKERS ABOUT THE POSSIBLE PERIL OF
HAVING A FEW...

1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
you to wake up with breath that could knock a
buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.

2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major
factor in dancing like an asshole.

3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
you to tell the same boring story over and over
again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR
HEAD IN.

4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
you to thay shings like thish.

5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
you to tell the boss what you REALLY think while
photocopying your butt at the office Christmas
party.

6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you
to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to
telephone them at 4 in the morning.

7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave
you wondering what the hell ever happened to your
pants anyway.

8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
you to roll over in the morning and see something
really scary (whose species and or name you can't
remember)

9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the
leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the
forehead.

10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create
the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and
smarter than some really, really big guy named
Psycho.
 
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