Dumb Store Clerks - And How To Fool Them
by KEBman
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A friend of mine who's a multiple convicted felon had many a funny story to tell. One I particularely liked was about how dumb some of the shop clerks at large stores or supermarkets can be.
One day he simply walked in the front door with a friend and asked if "Joe" was in. Of course they didn't know anybody named "Joe" there. Instead they were well prepared with large - empty - bags.
"Joe... Joe... Joe..." the clerk rambled on. "Is he new?"
"Yeah, he just started. We were going to play soccer later..." he replied.
"Well, try in the storage room, or maybe the office." the clerk answered, and went on with his business.
When the two suspicious looking men made into the storage room they were, needless to say, immediately stopped by another clerk. But they just went trough the same routine again.
"Joe? Oh, is he new? Well, he's probably out in the store for the moment. I can go look for him if you want."
"Yeah, thanks! That would be great!" they gleefully answered.
Of course, the moment they got the room for themselves, they cleaned out the cigarette stores and went on their way to the back door. Only, there was one minor problem. The back door had to be opened with a key... But instead of panicking, they just calmly turned around and headed to the front door again.
Naturally the shop clerks waited for them on the way out.
"Err no, he had to cancel. Had to work late..." they swindlers excused.
"Yeah, tell me about it," the shop clerk smiled back at them.
And so they just calmly continued out the front door. The worst danger they ever encountered was bursting into uncontrollable laughter.
Now, I wouldn't recommend trying this at your local supermarket. Even though many store clerks are dumb-stupid, bare in mind that some of them may actually be less stupid than others. But as of yet I haven't managed to actually prove this... Better safe than sorry, though.
When my friend was finally caught for an armed robbery, he admitted all the other crimes as well - including this one - and thereby actually got a "discount" on his punishemt for being so honest and cooperative! Well, that's how justice works in Europe!
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