Scamming French Trains
by Toni Truant
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Hi if you plan to travel to europe next year,think about going to France enjoying the pleasure of laziness,getting drunk and easy sex(american accent is very sexy to french ears) don't worry about pating train no more. Just jump in the train let it start,then go BY YOURSELF talk to the controller,this way he'llthink you're honest say you lost your credit card or any kind of bullshit ,and ask them if please could they write you a ticket that you'll pay soon. Of course be nice make them feel you're really gonna pay etc etc etc.
It's necessary to show an I.D. and preferably an adress in France.What you can do is go to a police station,fill up a "declaration de perte" (declaration of loss)for your international driver's license(french cop don't bother registering U.S. lost license) tell cop you lost credit card by the way.On the declaration say your temporary adress is somewhere in France (fin some in the phone book.
If anybody ask what the fuck are you doing in this country tell them your gran-gran-dad lost his life in Normandy on june 6th 1944 and you're doing a pilgrimage for the sake of the old bastard rocking soul! French official should show at least compassion, if not the red carpet. Notice that TGV(fast train) run at 200 mph station are downtown and they're always fucking on time. Actually under 500 miles it's way better than plane.
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