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So I Broke my Neck

by proofisoutthere


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for a Guinness and Ouzo, or ten. Any way many drinks later I managed to make it into the nearest town can't remember how I got there but what I do remember is trying to get to my girls house and somehow and for reasons unknown I decided to climb this tree. I managed to climb about 20 something feet when a branch broke I fell and I was left in a cold puddle of mud with my shit in ruins. I lay there in agony for an hour before I got to my feet and stumbled and staggered to my girlfriends house, where I promptly collapsed and passed out for a few hours before we called the paramedics because my body and mainly my arms where in burning fire pain. So the medics arrived and they are staring at me like I am a junkie that overdosed The medic grabs my arms and I let out a scream of pain and he say "I can't fucking treat you if I can't touch you. He's acting like a prick but he's properly right I thought so I let them load me up into a chair without a neck brace even though I was complaining of neck pain. The Hospital...


I arrive in casualty and am seen right away by a doctor that looks about 12 and after an array of scientific medical testing lasting five minutes I am sent home without being x-rayed and 6 co-proximil (SP?) for my pain (co-proximil is right up there with aspirin in the strength department) So I lie in my bed for three weeks in pain before I have the strength to see my GP he says I have suffered some nerve damage and sends me up to the hospital for an x-ray of my neck.(the same fucking hospital I was at the first time) So I go get the x-ray done and hear nothing more of it for two days when a doctor turns up to my home and tells me my neck is broken! and I have to go to a bigger hospital for more tests so the next day I arrive at the bigger hospital and I am informed that my C6 bone is crushed and I need a MRI so I have my MRI which was a bit scary its like going in a long tubular spaceship with flashing lights. So my scans get sent to the best specialists in the country and I need to go and visit them for a halo which is scaffolding for the head or an operation. The Cathicar (SP?) Incident...


I was waiting for a bed in the specialist hospital so I had to lie still in bed and stare at the ceiling and after two days of lying still your bladder holds your urine and you can't piss. So they insert a Carthicar which is basically a piece of tubing shoved up your dickhole and into the bladder. You receive no painkillers and I screamed like a bitch. The next day I was transferred to the specialist unit


I felt sick the whole ambulance journey and when I arrived I was stripped fastened to a bed and gang probed and washed by six nurses, so not all bad. The Boredom...


For three days all I could do was stare at that fucking ceiling with daily wash's and visits my only joy in the day. Then the day of my operation came I could have chosen not to take the operation but there was a chance I might get paralysed from the neck down if any slight bump occurred so it seemed like the smart choice and besides I had been walking around for two months by this point with a broken neck I had pushed my luck as far as I was willing to. The surgeon explained they where going to put a titanium plate in my neck with shards of bone from my hip to fuse the join in time. I was terrified of the prospect of neck and hip surgery but It was the smart option. The Operation Day...


I didn't sleep much the night before mostly awake with 20 to 30 minutes sleep patterns in between and at am a pretty nurse came in to wash me before the op I would have enjoyed it more if it hadn't have been for the cathicar and ensuing op 7:30am an african doctor comes in and places green platforms on my skin for the needles to go in for the anaesthetic and during surgery 8 am the pretty nurse is back and she gives me 2 valium tablets to calm me down. (it doesn't work) 8:30 am my family get to see me before I leave for surgery 8:45 I am taken to the anaesthetic room and given a jag I remember not being tired at all then blinking when I un-blinked I was overcome with thirst and the African doctor was there and he came to me with water and a straw I supped weakly from the glass and instantly felt like I was going to throw up and the shoved one of those tubes that suck into my mouth and I was sick into a half inch tube. (a weird experience) That's all I really remember till the next morning. The Day After...


I woke blearily eyed and in pain with two drips in my arm one for nutrition and one painkiller and two drains inside me one in my neck and one in my hip ( a drain takes the poison out of the would its disgusting to watch a brown/red chunky mixture omitting from your neck isn't the best way to feel better) I was told the op when well but I would need a neck brace for 6 to 12 weeks. So I sat in eden hall till I recovered better from surgery all you hear at night in there are heart monitors, ventilators and screams not a nice place to be. My Wheelchair...


The next day I was fitted with a neck brace and was asked if I was fit enough to go around in a wheelchair I said yes and I was log rolled out of bed and pushed around in a chair by my mum I was filled with relief and sickness but the op was over and I was generally optimistic. Then I passed a toilet I hadn't shit in a week I had let them stair at my ass and dick I had saved some dignity by holding it in I wasn't shitting in no bedpan so I wheeled into the toilet and slowly stood up for the first time in a week I was shaky and nauseous but I sat on the pan and my bowels gave way I lost about 8 kg in that toilet best shit of my life. after that I went back to bed and developed a temperature just as they where moving me to a better ward the rest of the night was spent in a sleepy, sweaty, blurry haze. The Brigadier...


The next morning I woke up and saw I had five other patients in the ward with me all in way worse shape than me. I sat up for about an hour before the nurses came in and woke everyone else up and they introduced themselves all except old dude in the corner. (ODC) They had names and ranks we had an ex paratrooper in the ward and he had given everyone ranks he was a brigadier and the rest where generals, colonels, majors and corporals I was given the grade of 2 nd Lieutenant due to my infancy in the ward 3 affectionately known as the 3 rd para (paraplegic regiment) It was a good bunch to be stuck with despite there positions they remained optimistic. Jim in the bed opposite had fallen off a ladder and broke his pelvis heel and back he and I would be the only ones ever to walk again in the ward even though he had a few moths of physical therapy before he could do it. Sandy in the next bed to me had been a passenger in a car with a drunk driver and when the car crashed his spine had snapped in two places he was paralysed from the chest down at 21 years old. John was on his motorbike with his girlfriend when an american tourist on the wrong side of the road had crashed into him he had broken his spine, six ribs and his shoulder and was paralysed from the chest down. Ian had been thrown from his horse and broken his back and was paralysed from the waist down just 3 years before he had overcome bowl cancer. ODC didn't say much and I don't know what had happen to him but he was on a bowel machine and had no legs and had been there a few years. Walking The Wards...


I could now walk and was called the walker by my ward mates. I decided to walk down the corridor for exercise as I looked in the wards windows I felt such a pussy for griping about my plight there where wards full of people worse than myself the scariest ward being ward 2 which was full of people paralysed from the neck down my stomach churned as I thought how close I nearly came to being one of them. There's not much to do in a hospital except watch t.v, read, talk or force down the disgusting food. I did all three to keep my mind off things. Waiting It Out...


The next couple of days before my discharge where uneventful the doctors asked me about my bowel and water movements I received regular visits from family and friends and I went to physical therapy daily to help with the nerve damage in my left hand. Home Sweet Home...


I was discharged yesterday with and appointment on Wednesday to have my stitches and staples took out of my incisions It was kind of sad to say good bye to the guys in the ward but I was so fucking happy to get home I had a Big Mac meal when I left hospital best Mc Donald's of my life. So now I am home with an appointment in six weeks for an x-ray check-up I am grateful to be walking and to the hard working nurses and doctors who are over worked and underpaid. Jerry's Final Thought...


I know that was kinda long and the spelling and grammar aren't perfect but I wanted to tell it. I will be taking it very easy for the next six months and that means more time for totse. Remember Support Your Local Hospital you never know when you may need it. FIN...

 
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