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How to Fuck Your School Up

by walkon


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This works best if you happen to have alot of derelict friends, as I do... your first day of school you should bring the following items, to insure a prosperous school year:

1) fountain pen (and extra ink refills)

2) 3 tubes of super glue (krazy glue)

3) pennies (about $1.00 worth)

4) balloons (small sized for convieniance)

5) mirror (small hand held)

6) liquid soap

7) lighter, (matches as alternat)

8) firecrackers (ladyfingers are great)

9) screwdrivers and other tools (small)

10) small squeezable bottles (like nasal de-congestant type)

11) wire (10-20 ft)

12) tape recorder mic. (batter operated pref.)

13) ziplock baggies

14) half of an orange

15) light bulb (75 watts and over are great)

This will do for now... some of the cool things to do are, take the pennies and glue them to the cafeteria tables, (and watch the custodians try to get 'em off). This also looks good with silver dollars glued to the fire alarm (so it goes off when the custodian attempts to remove the coin) and to a door some place (principals preferably).

Another thing to do with a coin is, heat it up over a bunson burner (in chem) and just as the bell rings, toss the coin into the hall, i will guarantee you will know when the coin is picked up... while your using the bunson burner, fill your little squeeze bottle with gas, then cap it tight and put it in your pocket... later, take a firecracker, and glue it to the bottle, use a cigarette as a fuse extension, then put it in the bathroom, and get to class fast... (gas and glue make a nice flame)...

While your in the bathroom, place a light bulb over the door, and when the superintendant goes to see what the explosion was, he gets a nice little surprise...

Now for the wire, if you can access a room near your locker, when no one is in the room, take off the speaker cover on the pa system, and hook 2 wires from it, to your mic. (then into your locker) this is good for getting your friends out of classes... just ask for them... (use your tools for that one, and try to be neat about it)...

Now for your mirror, you can use this for getting your, uh..."friends" locker combanation.... after you get that, take that little baggie you got, and put the orange in it... let it sit for a week or four, then open the baggie, and place it in your friends locker... I can guarentee he/she will love it!

Another thing that is fun to do, is, take a penny, and glue it over the key hole on your friends gym locker, just after he goes out, thus he has to truck around all day in his gym stuff, (unless you rent him your screw driver to pry the penny off)

Ballons are fun to play with in chem lab, fill them with the gas that you get out of the taps on the lab desks, then tie up the baloon tight, and drop it out the window to the burn outs below, you know, the ones that are always smoking, they love to pop baloons with light cigaretts, get the picture? good...

Those fountain pens are cool, because if you make a slight jerking motion with your hand, ink squirts all over the room, (or person, what everyour aiming at) it is a good idea not to let the teachers know you have one of those, it makes it too easy to find out who did it when theres ink all over the principals face... (or on the floors, walls, and ceilings...)

Liquid soap is great for use in crowded hallways, it turns everybody into a ice skating star, (works especially well when people come in from the rain)... if your school is anything like the one I goto, people never flush the toiletts, a little liquid soap in here makes for a nice surprise, I mean, what happens when the soap is not flushed out of the toilet, and the suds aren't flushed out either? the janitors have a really good time trying to figure out that one... (glue a quarter in one of the urinals, always a winner)... turn off the water under the sinks too... getting back to the soap, it is also good on the hand railings in hallways and on steps, if you mix perfume with it, some poor grub has to have that stench on him all day.

 
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