How to Fuck Your School Up
by walkon
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This works best if you happen to have alot of derelict friends, as I
do... your first day of school you should bring the following items, to
insure a prosperous school year:
1) fountain pen (and extra ink refills)
2) 3 tubes of super glue (krazy glue)
3) pennies (about $1.00 worth)
4) balloons (small sized for convieniance)
5) mirror (small hand held)
6) liquid soap
7) lighter, (matches as alternat)
8) firecrackers (ladyfingers are great)
9) screwdrivers and other tools (small)
10) small squeezable bottles (like nasal de-congestant type)
11) wire (10-20 ft)
12) tape recorder mic. (batter operated pref.)
13) ziplock baggies
14) half of an orange
15) light bulb (75 watts and over are great)
This will do for now... some of the cool things to do are, take the
pennies and glue them to the cafeteria tables, (and watch the custodians try
to get 'em off). This also looks good with silver dollars glued to the fire
alarm (so it goes off when the custodian attempts to remove the coin) and to
a door some place (principals preferably).
Another thing to do with a coin is, heat it up over a bunson burner (in
chem) and just as the bell rings, toss the coin into the hall, i will
guarantee you will know when the coin is picked up... while your using the
bunson burner, fill your little squeeze bottle with gas, then cap it tight
and put it in your pocket... later, take a firecracker, and glue it to the
bottle, use a cigarette as a fuse extension, then put it in the bathroom,
and get to class fast... (gas and glue make a nice flame)...
While your in the bathroom, place a light bulb over the door, and when
the superintendant goes to see what the explosion was, he gets a nice little
surprise...
Now for the wire, if you can access a room near your locker, when no
one is in the room, take off the speaker cover on the pa system, and hook 2
wires from it, to your mic. (then into your locker) this is good for getting
your friends out of classes... just ask for them... (use your tools for that
one, and try to be neat about it)...
Now for your mirror, you can use this for getting your, uh..."friends"
locker combanation.... after you get that, take that little baggie you got,
and put the orange in it... let it sit for a week or four, then open the
baggie, and place it in your friends locker... I can guarentee he/she will
love it!
Another thing that is fun to do, is, take a penny, and glue it over the
key hole on your friends gym locker, just after he goes out, thus he has to
truck around all day in his gym stuff, (unless you rent him your screw
driver to pry the penny off)
Ballons are fun to play with in chem lab, fill them with the gas that
you get out of the taps on the lab desks, then tie up the baloon tight, and
drop it out the window to the burn outs below, you know, the ones that are
always smoking, they love to pop baloons with light cigaretts, get the
picture? good...
Those fountain pens are cool, because if you make a slight jerking
motion with your hand, ink squirts all over the room, (or person, what
everyour aiming at) it is a good idea not to let the teachers know you have
one of those, it makes it too easy to find out who did it when theres ink
all over the principals face... (or on the floors, walls, and ceilings...)
Liquid soap is great for use in crowded hallways, it turns everybody
into a ice skating star, (works especially well when people come in from
the rain)... if your school is anything like the one I goto, people never
flush the toiletts, a little liquid soap in here makes for a nice surprise,
I mean, what happens when the soap is not flushed out of the toilet, and the
suds aren't flushed out either? the janitors have a really good time trying
to figure out that one... (glue a quarter in one of the urinals, always a
winner)... turn off the water under the sinks too... getting back to the
soap, it is also good on the hand railings in hallways and on steps, if you
mix perfume with it, some poor grub has to have that stench on him all day.
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