Creative Car Destruction

by Good Boy 404

Disclaimer: This file describes actions causing severe material damage or also public danger. Good Boy 404 is not responsible for any consequences if anyone should decide to actually commit any of these.

Ever dreamed of knocking out some asshole by destroying his pride: the car? Not simply destroying the car but destroying it CREATIVELY, embarassing the asshole owner to the ground and letting him CRY for the thing?

A similar situation occurs if you have a car that is so junk that you can't sell it but you would need to actually pay for the junkyard/recycler to take it. Do you really need a recycler to scrap a car? How 'bout some extra free fun? (If you want to get rid of YOUR trash-ripe car then it could be good to first REPORT IT AS STOLEN. Just to make sure...)

Only a few people steal cars. If you do it (you're one of them), then you can sometimes have a car that you can't keep for long anyway. You need to get rid of the car once it gets too hot to keep. Why not have some fun with that?

One more thing: If you really want to do something like that, then you will do a favor to lots of people and become a star if you record it on video!

At first: If you can't (or don't want to) start the car:

Set it on fire where it stands. (Obvious...)

Blow it up.

Shoot it to a sieve.

Beat it to a pile of junk with a BIG hammer (10 pounds or more)

Get a BIG rock (or anything heavy: car battery, heavy machine part, sewer lid, etc.). Go up a HIGH house roof from where you can hit the target car at night. (Be careful with the elevator: you could be easier to see with the object later found in the ruins of someone's car!) Throw the rock/whatever on the car. Don't get caught...

Fill the inside with cement.

Drive the car into some upper-class neighborhood or lame suburb late at night and set it on fire.

Or do the same on a thin, narrow BRIDGE.

EXTREMELY DANGEROUS: Drive into a railroad crossing. Wait until a LONG freight train comes. When the train is about 10-15 secs away, then break through the crossing gate and stop the car in front of the train. Get out of the car FAST and RUN AWAY.

Drive the car off a HIGH cliff. Jump out in the last second. Best if you tanked the car FULL (or even stuffed in lots of gasoline cans) to get a much nicer fireball.

Or drive the car into your worst enemy's car the same way.

Or his house.

Or into a river/lake. Best if THOUSANDS on the other coast see it falling down.

Or into the sewers.

Or down a ski course.

Or into a swamp.

Or into LOTS of wet cement.

Or beyond a BRIDGE OUT sign. Jump out at the right moment... (WARNING: Do this when there are no workers below!!!)

If you're afraid of doing a stunt like that then stop before the 'point of no return' and push the car through.

Devastate a golf course simply by driving around. Don't forget the green. If you're satisfied, then drive it into a pond on the course.

Mount blocks of straw or lots of trash on the top of the car. Light the crap while driving on a highway. Drive fast until the car itself starts to burn...

Rig the engine to smoke like hell. Drive on a highway for a while. Then set the inside on fire, stop, and get out.

Fill the baggage room (? the part of a car where you put your baggage) with animal carcasses / raw meat. Park the car in a populated street. Leave it there. Best at summer.

Or do the same but with manure.

Or you can add some MAGGOTS to the carcasses/meat. The maggots will multiply and swarm out of the car.

If the cops won't take the car away, then call them and tell them that it's full of drugs. Or, if you want a bomb squad too, then with explosives.

Test the airbag. Drive into a concrete wall.

Drive into a mall through the glass walls late at night. RUN AWAY.

If you have a friend with another expandable (stolen) car:

Make a 'car duel'. You can do it just for fun, or to take bets on who wins (whose car runs still after the other is completely dead.) Do something else with the 'winning' car...

If the car has front engine and front wheel propulsion:

Cut the car in half with a welder. Keep the front half. Mount small (but strong) wheels on the bottom where the car was cut in half. Drive around with this half car for a while. If you don't want to keep it for long, then you don't need those back wheels...

Tie a long cable from the back of the car to something you want to demolish. Step on the gas. Remember Lethal Weapon 2? Don't expect the car to survive this, but whatever the other end of the cable was tied to will be badly damaged (if not completely demolished)

Stop in the middle of a highway. Or in the middle of an important city road / highway bridge. Try to block as many tracks as possible. Get out. Take the keys. Go away. You will jam the street for hours.

You could also light the interior while driving, stop (don't forget to block the road... hahaha...) then run away.

If you drain the water or the oil, or remove the air filter, or add sugar / water to the fuel, then the car will COMPLETELY break down in a certain time. In fact, the engine will be destroyed. (WARNING: Sugar in fuel is said to cause an INSTANT BLOCK of the engine, often making nasty accidents. You want fun, not a coffin...?) If you start to drive around on highways or big city roads, then the car will die at some point and will be impossible to start. When this happens, act innocent / surprised and go away.

If you don't like acting and lying and want to be straight, then just stop, get out, puncture the tires, and go away.

Try yourself as a car stunt-driver. Do it until the car is JUNK.

Paint a swastika or other symbol that attracts some kind of agression on the car, and park it somewhere late at night. If you painted a swastika, then don't forget to inform (and fanatize) the local militant black / arabic / [other] asian ethnic communities. You could call them as someone VERY ANGRY from their ethnicity (well, could be difficult if you don't speak their language... do this only with black americans)

Alternative: Paint a communist red star (or also the sickle + hammer symbol), or David's star, (the symbol of the jews) or the peace symbol ('hippi symbol') on the car and park in a skinhead-plagued area. Don't forget to inform the skinheads...

Park the car beneath an unstable rock wall. Start a rockfall on the car. Could be easier than you wish... Or just roll down some BIG rocks on it.

Flatten it with a tank.

If you can: Park besides a railroad track and tie the car to a LONG freight train. It could take a while for the loco driver to realize the 'attachment'... (Sometimes freight trains stop outside stations for some reasons. If the station is at the 'edge' of a city and the train is VERY long then it can also happen that the train stops cause the front part is already in the station while the rear is still outside the city. That's the time to tie the car on.)

Drive on a frozen lake. Stop but leave the engine idle. Get away. The heat from the engine will melt the ice and the car will fall in. (It could take a while - and need some fuel)

Park on the beach, just at the edge of the water while ebb-tide. Lock the car. Get away. The flow-tide will wash the car with salt water, corroding the whole inside beyond repair. Or wash the car into the sea if the waves are big enough.

Park on a river shore, just at the edge of the water when the radio tells about a rapid (and big) FLOOD. Guess what happens. Hahaha...

If you know a place where a rock (or something else hard) stands out of the ground to about a foot high: Drive over the 'obstacle'. SLASHES the bottom of the car.

EXTREMELY DANGEROUS:

Items needed: A bridge where you can drive up over a river with considerable freight ship traffic The car to destroy Steel cable, long enough to reach a ship from the bridge One anchor Something to tie the cable to the car SECURELY One BIG freight ship coming at a good moment

Attach the anchor to the end of the cable. Wait until the big ship close to the bridge. Drive on the bridge, over the ship. Attach the other end of the steel cable (the end without the anchor) to the car SECURELY. Throw the end with the anchor on the ship. The ship will pull the car off the bridge (and the railing too).

EXTREMELY DANGEROUS:

Items needed: One ferry (the bigger the better) on a shallow water The car to destroy Steel cable, long enough to reach the water bottom One anchor Something to tie the cable to the car SECURELY

Attach the anchor to the end of the cable. Board a ferry. Attach the other end of the cable to the car SECURELY. Throw the end with the anchor in the water. The anchor will pull the car off the ferry.

It's not bad if you can swim - the ferry crew (and the other passengers) won't be happy...

Board a ferry. Push the car into the water. Again, not bad if you can swim...

Get diving gear. Hide it near the driver's seat. Board a ferry. Make sure you get a position on the edge of the ferry. While on the water, go into the car. Put on the diving gear. Drive off the ferry. The car could sink fast, so swim out, but don't get caught by the ferry's propeller! The diving gear is needed to provide you air, so you won't need to swim up for air. If noone saw you putting on or wearing the diving gear, then you will be declared dead. Swim on the shore with the diving gear.

Get (rent / steal / whatever) a DUMP CAR. Get the car to be destroyed on the platform. Dump it into a chasm, or just activate the dumper while driving fast...

Put on a biker's helmet, heavy clothing, and gloves (there will be glass flying around!) Drive through under a big TRUCK and let the truck cut the roof off.

Drive FAST on a road with MANY small hills. Make big jumps until the car breaks apart.

'Try' driving through a stream. Give up pretty easy...

Drive through the waves on the beach until the car either dies or the waves catch it.

Make an 'accident' with other people you hate.

I doubt that someone could do this but if yes then...

Pick up the car with a helicopter. Drop the car from at least a few hundred meters high. If possible then into a millionaire's garden, a golf course, or an (empty) stadium...

The ABSOLUTE WINNER would be to drop a car into a stadium during the LIVE transmission of a monster trucks / car wrecking show.

This one needs 2 people and a tow truck and is EXTREMELY EVIL:

Get the car on a tow truck. One guy needs to drive the tow, the other must be on the back of it. While driving in heavy traffic, the second guy releases the car from the tow, right into the traffic...

If you can open the hand brake or the car, then you could also release the car before a 'hairpin' curve on a mountain road so the car rolls into a big chasm... As I wrote before: if possible, make sure the car is tanked full, or even load it with gas cans.

Park just outside a construction site. Take a friend. Sneak in at night. Activate the high crane. One of you should go into the high crane and the other should attach something HEAVY (a girder, concrete block, whatever) on the hook. Pick up the object quite high. Release the object over the car. (Or pick up the car high and drop it.)

Park near a site where a building is demolished with a WRECKING BALL. Steal (or hijack) the wrecking ball and wreck the car.

Park near a site where they use an EXCAVATOR. Steal (or hijack) the excavator and throw the car around with it like a cardboard box until it breaks apart.

If you can get ANY heavy and TRACKED vehicle, then you could simply flatten the car like with a tank.

If you're mad enough to do one of these: Figuring out the controls of a crane / wrecking machine / excavator from scratch could take a while (or too much) so inform yourself before. Check out some books about these machines in a library, or watch the guys for a while (to see which lever/button does what.)

These don't destroy a car, but I just couldn't leave them out:

Park on the side of a road where the traffic comes from BEHIND. Just when a car is about to whoosh besides you, open a side door, KICK it out and let the other car remove it quickly and efficiently...

Make sure the battery is fully charged. Hack the car alarm so that it never stops. (If you can.) Or wire up a time-delayed switch to the horn. Drive to a big city at day, or some lazy quiet suburb at night. Activate the (hacked, no-stop) alarm system, or start the time delay. Get out. If you hacked the alarm, then start it. Don't get caught...

Drive over cement bars with 80 mph. (Those bars put out to make drivers slow down.) Axis break guaranteed. Then get out and go away.

Open a sewer lid. Drive there so that one wheel gets stuck in the hole. (Actually saw this with a lid cover made of plate, so thin that it was pushed in by the weight of the car - not deliberately)

If the car has a winch strong enough to pick up the car itself:

Secure the end of the cable to something high and strong. Start the winch. Guess what happens... If the winch stops when the cable is spooled up then the car WILL STAY THERE. You could also build (improvise) such a stopper mechanism yourself.

If you attach a small ANCHOR to the cable then you could throw up the cable to many places.

If the winch cable is made of plastic (with NO strands of metal inside) then you could 'anchor' the cable on a HIGH VOLTAGE LINE. How 'bout a car hanging on a 400,000 Volt line...?

If the winch is strong enough to lift up the car AND an extra few 100 lbs then pack the car full with gas cans. Imagine a car winched up 150 ft high on a 400,000 Volt cable, with 600 lbs of gas on board...

WARNING: If you're so mad that you would winch up a car on a high voltage line: Let some cable (MUST be plastic w/o any metal strands!!) loose before starting the winch. The loose cable (rope) should last for 20-30 secs (it should take that much for the winch to spool up only the loose cable). After starting the winch, RUN AWAY. If the line can't take the weight of the car then it will rip down. Or the isolators could break.

I think it's technically possible (but of course complicated) to wire an RC model car control electronic into a REAL car, to make a REAL car to be controlled by an RC model car's remote control. (The range of the transmitter could be too short, you could need to extend the range with an appropriate amplifier, either at the receiver input, or at the trasmitter output) If you can do it, then you can do MANY crazy stunts from behind the hand-held remote control. Drive it off a cliff, or into a concrete wall, with 100 mph. Or whatever you can think of...