Sadistically Ruining Someone's Day

by Stryper

First, take someone you don't like. I'll think of a name and use it as an "Example." Uhm, lets see... How bout Gil... Yes Gil will do just fine. Well first you get the person to some out of the way place, like the desert. Now Our imaginary friend gil will be our subject for torture. If Gil didn't come nicely you, more then likely, you'll have to hit him over the head with something hard... A 2 tone wieght would be nice, but in this case, a steel rench will do. Of course, if you have rendered Gil unconsious, then hand cuffing him will be easy.

Things to bring

1) Gun Powder or other Fuse Lit PipeBombs. (Just small enough to fit into ones buttux. )

2) Oil(Mixed in gas preferably) for lubercat.

3) Razer Blaids (Two is the all you'll need, but bring a spare)

4) Pins & Needles

5) Something that smells real bad

6) Lighter and other odds and ends I didn't think of

7) Duck Tape

Now, Gil should be handcuffed, so once you get to the place in the desert, he'll be more then ready for his execution. Now, hit him again, or use sleeping (or something) gas, so he'll be asleep for at least an hour.

Once you find the place, drag Gil somewhere no easily seen from air (If there are any...) Now, if you're gay or something, you can go ahead and have your way with him. I'm sure a gag will muffle any objections. Next, pull off his pants and other clothing. Now, you know those pins? Well, stick a couple threw his nimples, twist a couple times. If he doesn't die from shock, it'll deffenitly wake him up. Now, Duck tape his feet, and take those two razer blaids and tape them too the cuffs. Make sure you tape it so that if he really wants, he can cut his own rists insted of what we have in store for him. Now, take a long strip of duck tape (Bout two feet long) and tape his head back. Make sure he can hear though, wouldn't want him to miss the mently torture of hearing you tell him about all the things you hate about him. Now for the Jiffy Lub.. Take the oil/gas mixture and lub up his asshole. (If you are gay and pumped him in the ass already, lub him anyway, gas and oil bumage. Now, take a pipe bomb, this should have at least a three foot fuse. (Slow burning) Now, take the Pipebomb, (Here is where you dirty your hands) take two fingures, and OPEN his asshole as far as you can without ripping it. Now shove that Pipebomb up there. Now should it not fit, take that third razer blaid I recomended and lengthen his asshole about a half an inch. (Or until it fits)

Take the rest of those pins and needles and poke them into Gils back. In all shorts of disigns. Now, rap the fuse around the needles.

The stuff that smells real back should be poured into his face. If there is any spare skin on the body, take about four foot of duck tape and rap it around to something so he can't leave. You might also want to piss on your victems face, just make sure the fuse is dry.

Now, Light the fuse, and tell the victem something really nice.. Like "This is just a joke." Spit on him, and say, "The jokes on you."

And ByeBye Mother Phucker. Now, watch the fire works, and Enjoy.